I’m sure you’ve witnessed the entitled businessman yelling at a gate agent.
You’ve sat next to the nonstop chatterbox on a plane.
And let’s not forget about the fistfights that break out when someone decides to seat recline on the wrong person.
But the stories below could drive you even crazier.
And the worst part?
They are true.
This crazy HAPPENED.
I asked around and compiled this list of stories from my pilot and flight attendant friends.
Keep reading to learn about the crazy shenanigans that happen in or around planes.
The X-Ray Machine Isn’t for Babies
I know. No one wants to wake a sleeping baby. Ever.
But for the love, don’t put an infant carrier seat through the X-ray machine…. WHILE THE BABY IS STILL IN THE SEAT!
You need to make concessions when you are going through security at an airport.
My flight attendant friend was standing behind a mom and her baby in the security line.
The mom put the infant car seat on the conveyor belt. But she had no plans of taking her baby out of the seat before the seat went through the X-Ray machine.
She argued with the TSA Agent about it. The baby was asleep. She didn’t want to wake the child up.
“Just let the baby go through the x-ray machine.” She said.
It’s a nutty story, I know.
For the record, the car seat goes through the X-Ray machine. The baby does not.
Is That Really an Emotional Support Animal?
Ok, I’m all for animals on planes. But the kind that offers REAL help.
And, before, I get a lot of complaints. I know dogs do wonders for emotional support.
I talk to my dog daily.
Animals help to calm anxiety.
I know all that.
But, this comfort animal thing is getting out of hand.
I’m talking to you sir with the 40-pound Civet Cat. (I had to google this animal type. So did my pilot friend when he saw the animal on his plane.)
Is that really a comfort animal or are you just trying to get out of paying to transport your animal?
In case you aren’t aware, you are ruining it for those with animals that truly serve. Please stop trying to work the system.
If you want your parrot, iguana, or snake to join you in your travels, pay the fee to have them transported.
Skip the Miraculous Healing
I have clients who refuse to get wheelchair assistance. They can walk but not for long distances.
Airports are ginormous. Yet, they still refuse the wheelchair assistance. They are too proud. I worry about my clients when this happens. I hope they flag down a cart.
But, unlike my very kind clients, there are people out there working the wheelchair system.
These people hobble on the plane.They struggle with their carry-on bag until the flight attendant takes over and hoists the bag into the overhead bin.
And there is bin space because they are the first to board the plane.
But then these same people are the ones bolting off the plane first. They refuse the wheelchair.
“I don’t know what happened.” They say. Miraculous healing, I guess.
If you need a wheelchair, get the assistance. But here’s the thing.
Wheelchairs board first. Wheelchairs deplane last. That’s the rule. If you have wheelchair assistance, this is how it works. Ditch the wheelchair if you don’t like it.
If you’re one of those people getting the wheelchair to score the coveted overhead bin space. Stop it. Stop it right now.
Leave No Trace Behind
Moms and dads, I’m talking to you on this one.
Yes, it’s a struggle to have a baby on board.
Yes, it’s tough to change a diaper on a plane. You might pull a muscle. I know I have.
But, what you don’t do is leave the stinking thing in the front pocket. (Gross.)
When you leave the plane, take that dirty diaper with you.
No one wants it left on the plane.
Lock the Bathroom Door
This one seems self-explanatory but I guess not. Lock the bathroom door. Strangers might walk in on you. And they do.
They don’t know you are in there if you don’t lock the door.
This happened to my pilot friend once. He opened the bathroom door.
A guy tumbled out into the aisle, his pants down to his ankles.
I’m not sure what happened there. My pilot friend doesn’t know either.
Yes. This is a real story.
Listen to Your Doctor
If the doctor tells you not to fly. Please listen. It’s for your own good. And, it’s good for your fellow passengers.
Not too long ago, my pilot friend had to make an emergency landing. Thank goodness a nurse was onboard and everything turned out alright.
When the passenger was taken off the plane, he commented that he should have listened to his doctor. He wasn’t supposed to fly.
I’m glad this guy is okay. But you see, he didn’t think of how this affects others onboard. Passengers missed connecting flights because of the emergency landing.
I know this because it has happened to me before. I was on a plane headed to Miami. From there I was flying to St. Lucia.
But, a medical emergency happened. We landed in New Orleans instead. By the time my plane got to Miami, I missed my connection to St. Lucia. There were no more flights to St. Lucia that day, so I overnighted in Miami. I had to pay for a hotel in Miami and missed a day in St. Lucia.
Please think about this if your doctor tells you not to fly. There’s a reason for it.
Keep Up with Personal Hygiene
I understand “au naturel” but think of the others on the plane.
One flight attendant told me they were already in flight when they noticed a strange odor coming somewhere from coach class.
It started to waft throughout the entire plane.
At first, they suspected a few of the babies onboard. Maybe a diaper change was in order.
Nope. They figured it out.
The stench was coming from a gentleman’s hair.
Really, it was his hair.
This is an easy fix. Smell your hair the night before. If there’s a problem, use the shampoo dude.
This goes without saying but you might want to sniff certain body parts too.
Let’s all be kind to our seatmates, shall we?
Pay Attention to the Flight Attendants
And this is one that happens time and time again.
You know the business people glued to their laptops. Yes, I know that report is important.
If you have a laptop out, don’t order a drink.
Where are you going to put it?
It doesn’t fit on the tray. Stow your laptop. Drink your drink. Then get your laptop back out.
Let’s think of these flight attendants. They can’t hold onto you drink forever. There are other travelers onboard after all.
Behave in First Class
Oh to be in first class.
No shenanigans in first class surely you say? Oh no.
The WORST behavior happens here.
My flight attendant source told me she began serving first class meals like normal.
But then noticed the man in the bulkhead window seat on the right side of the plane had his foot propped up on the window.
His shoe was off. His sock was off.
He was clipping his toenails.
My flight attendant friend handled the situation.
She told him she would need to suspend the meal service because it was against health code to continue serving meals while he cut his toenails.
His foot went back in his shoe. All of first class clapped in relief.
Who thinks clipping toenails on a plane is okay, really?
One more incident in first class
A couple with a small child came onboard.
To keep the young boy entertained the parents brought onboard several pull back race cars.
The child would zip back the car, watch it go, and then run down the aisle clear back into coach class to collect his toy.
Pushy for sure. But I think passengers onboard tolerated it because it’s much better than listening to a screaming child.
But, when dinner time came, things were different.
By now, the dad was on the floor with the child in the middle of the aisle. Now, this is gross on so many levels but hey the story doesn’t stop there.
My flight attendant friend asked the man to get back in his seat so she could serve the dinner meal.
“Oh no. we’re not hungry.” The dad said. He proceeded to lay in the aisle playing zip cars with his son.
Don’t mind the other passengers onboard. Really, they aren’t hungry either since you aren’t.
Now I get it.
I have had my own child scream continuously for 4 hours straight on a plane.
It haunted me. But again, let’s think of other passengers onboard. They want their dinner. They really, really do.
Don’t Eat the Fish
This last one isn’t alarming but just plain fun.
I want this to happen to me.
A gray-haired gentleman boarded the plane.
He popped his head into the cockpit.
With total seriousness, he said, “Don’t eat the fish.”
He made his way to his seat.
He was already heading towards his seat before the flight crew realized who this crazy man was.
It was the “real “Leslie Nielson on their plane!
If you don’t get this, you need to go watch the movie Airplane.
Have you had crazy shenanigans on your plane? I’d love to hear them. Let me know!